I have to decide what to do?
I was numb for a while, I just moved forward without thinking. My son and I lived in a small apartment and I just focused on him, it was amazing how much time I had on my hands now that I didn’t have a husband to cater to. We did all the things we wanted to, went to the park, rode bikes, hung out with friends, just lived in the moment and had fun. My son didn’t miss going to the meetings at all, he didn’t really have any friends there and he hated getting all dressed up. I prayed, but I avoided thinking about my religion for a while. I started dating eventually, which was weird, I was almost 30 and I’d only ever been with one person. Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t date like normal people, there were always group dates and chaperons. My husband and I weren’t really ever alone until after we were married, I’d never been on a real date so I was experiencing teenage dating, but I was almost 30 and I had a kid. Some of my thinking was still very much influenced by my upbringing. Can I really expect to only go on group dates with grown men? Am I going to find a man who will wait until marriage for sex? No, of course not.
So I have to start a new life with new rules. I have to decide what I’m comfortable with and play it by ear. I can’t hid behind my ” I can’t date worldly boys” like I did in high school. Fact is so many rules made it easy to avoid making decisions and now I’m in charge and the decisions are mine to make.
once again….another parallel! I started dating my hubby at 29! It was an odd dating world out there. My story , as you know, oddly parallels yours. No fun dating when you never really ‘dated’ before. Talk about a fish outta water, right?