A laughable “Sisterhood”
This post has been rattling around in my head for a few days so I have to set it free.
As young women we start out being told there is a great “Sisterhood” of women that would rally at our side on the common ground of womanhood. It doesn’t take long to figure out this mythical band of womanhood doesn’t exactly live up to the hype. In theory this sisterhood does many things like making us overcome our social anxiety and embarrassment to help a fellow woman out. So you’re in the bathroom and another woman has her skirt in her hose, you’re obligated to tell her even if you don’t want to. Toilet paper on your shoe, “dice” in your nose, lipstick on your teeth, a tag hanging out or a stain on your clothes you can always count on your “sisters” to let you know, in theory. In reality too many women are too self absorbed to even notice anyone other than themselves and even if they do notice, they just chose not to say anything. I hate to point things out myself, but I do it anyway because if I do, I feel horrible for the other person for a couple of hours and embarrassed I had to say something, but if I don’t, I think about it for weeks and it makes me feel horrible in the pit of my stomach every time it crosses my mind. I’m weird though, I know that.
So you grow up and you have to look out for yourself and check your own skirt, nose, shoes and face. I used to think I was a typical woman, that every woman out there had the same core values as I do, but this had not ended up to be true either. Some women are catty and hurtful for absolutely no reason. I had my first real experience with this kind of woman when I was 16. My first ever real crush, I had met the nice JW boy I was going to marry. He was dorky with beautiful wavy hair, extremely tall and awkward and painfully shy. I made no secret of how I felt and his mother didn’t like me. My father was disfellowshipped and my mother had a job instead of pioneering, heaven forbid so I wasn’t from a “strong” JW family. His mother should have pretended to like me, then he would have run screaming. Anyway, every meeting we would meet in the parking lot for a few minutes of chaste sweet conversation. He was so shy so I knew how precious this stolen conversation was. After months of this there was finally opportunity to start going places with groups and seeing each other there. That’s where I made my fatal mistake, I told one of the other girls about our stolen parking lot conversations and how much they meant to me. The next meeting there she was in the parking lot, she wasn’t interested in him, but she wanted him to want her. He did and we all know she did me a favor, if I’d married him I’d have become a good Christian wife and still be suppressing my doubts to this day.
Anyway, the point is, if you have a good man, bad man or even ok man there is a woman out there that wants him simply because she can get him. She may not want to keep him, but she wants him for the minute. Not all women are like that, but too many of them are. There is no honor or camaraderie just because we’re women. I may not be a Jehovah’s Witness anymore, but some of the core values, like many other Christian faiths teach are still there and I know I’m a better person for it.
for a long time, nearly all my friends were guys and i pathologically avoided forming friendships with women. when i think back to all the times i got “in trouble” with the JWs, it was a women who forced the issue. as i read this blog post, and i wonder if that has anything to do with my general distrust of women.
on the upside, i think as i’ve gotten older i’ve learned to be a better judge of character in general, so i feel comfortable about the women in my life.