Other people’s stories
Every former Jehovah’s Witness’ story is different. Some of us were born in, some came in on their own and some kept getting kicked out and coming back for more. No matter the story, I love to read them. The bitter ones make me sad, but the others make me feel a little more “normal.”
I read I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah’s Witness upbringing by Kyria Abrahams about three years ago, I laughed and I cried. It is a candid look into a reality rarely seen by outsiders. I must say it goes to prove laughter really is the best medicine. I’m in a group on Facebook with others who enjoyed the book and coming in contact with others who have left that life behind.
I read another “book” this week by one of the members. Definitely worth the read for anyone who has left the organization. I had a much harder time than Alan stopping “turning in time.” I cracked up when he told of turning in his last time report with zero hours and wrote “Stumbled by the Circuit Overseer.” I will giggle at that for a few days and my family will wonder when exactly I lost my mind, they just don’t get it. Others will though and I hope some can find his story through my blog and realize we aren’t alone.
Private time
I never realized as a teenager how much I would miss private time. The time when you’re all about yourself for a little while. I could probably have more if I really pushed for it, but at the cost of alienating everyone around me. When I was single I shaved twice a day and washed my hair for work and then again to go out for the evening. I wore make up sometimes, though I had time to tan by the pool and didn’t need it most of the time.
Now I’m married and we only have one bathroom, so I don’t really feel like I can be selfish with the bathroom time. Five people, one bathroom means even if I want to shave my legs, there might be someone knocking on the door needing me to hurry. Once upon a time I checked my legs to see if I missed a spot, then it progressed to fixing it if I noticed it and now I’m lucky if I feel like I have the time to do it at all, much less examine the quality of my work. Nothing invades your self pampering time like someone on the toilet stinking up the place lol.
I sleep too much, but it seems like I don’t get enough because the hubby wants to stay up late and the boys get up early so I have to take it in shifts. Nothing feels better than sleeping a straight 8 hours a night and if I only get it 4 at a time I never feel rested. Too much on my mind makes sleep elude me and keeps me tired.
On the good side, for the most part my kids are happy and it’s not like they’ll be here forever. I just wonder sometimes what will be left of me when they are gone.
A laughable “Sisterhood”
This post has been rattling around in my head for a few days so I have to set it free.
As young women we start out being told there is a great “Sisterhood” of women that would rally at our side on the common ground of womanhood. It doesn’t take long to figure out this mythical band of womanhood doesn’t exactly live up to the hype. In theory this sisterhood does many things like making us overcome our social anxiety and embarrassment to help a fellow woman out. So you’re in the bathroom and another woman has her skirt in her hose, you’re obligated to tell her even if you don’t want to. Toilet paper on your shoe, “dice” in your nose, lipstick on your teeth, a tag hanging out or a stain on your clothes you can always count on your “sisters” to let you know, in theory. In reality too many women are too self absorbed to even notice anyone other than themselves and even if they do notice, they just chose not to say anything. I hate to point things out myself, but I do it anyway because if I do, I feel horrible for the other person for a couple of hours and embarrassed I had to say something, but if I don’t, I think about it for weeks and it makes me feel horrible in the pit of my stomach every time it crosses my mind. I’m weird though, I know that.
So you grow up and you have to look out for yourself and check your own skirt, nose, shoes and face. I used to think I was a typical woman, that every woman out there had the same core values as I do, but this had not ended up to be true either. Some women are catty and hurtful for absolutely no reason. I had my first real experience with this kind of woman when I was 16. My first ever real crush, I had met the nice JW boy I was going to marry. He was dorky with beautiful wavy hair, extremely tall and awkward and painfully shy. I made no secret of how I felt and his mother didn’t like me. My father was disfellowshipped and my mother had a job instead of pioneering, heaven forbid so I wasn’t from a “strong” JW family. His mother should have pretended to like me, then he would have run screaming. Anyway, every meeting we would meet in the parking lot for a few minutes of chaste sweet conversation. He was so shy so I knew how precious this stolen conversation was. After months of this there was finally opportunity to start going places with groups and seeing each other there. That’s where I made my fatal mistake, I told one of the other girls about our stolen parking lot conversations and how much they meant to me. The next meeting there she was in the parking lot, she wasn’t interested in him, but she wanted him to want her. He did and we all know she did me a favor, if I’d married him I’d have become a good Christian wife and still be suppressing my doubts to this day.
Anyway, the point is, if you have a good man, bad man or even ok man there is a woman out there that wants him simply because she can get him. She may not want to keep him, but she wants him for the minute. Not all women are like that, but too many of them are. There is no honor or camaraderie just because we’re women. I may not be a Jehovah’s Witness anymore, but some of the core values, like many other Christian faiths teach are still there and I know I’m a better person for it.
Christmas is coming……
…. ready or not. I’m enjoying planning and shopping. With my limited Christmas experience I’m no pro. I’ve gone Black Friday shopping, had my shopping done before Thanksgiving and waited to start until the last two weeks. One thing I haven’t done is spend Christmas 1400 miles away from home and family, we’ve always had our own Christmas with the kids, but then there is always the trip to Mom’s for even more Christmas fun. The kids have school until the 23rd, so a trip wouldn’t really be possible unless we flew which is not how I want to spend Christmas Eve and who knows what the weather will be like in three weeks.
So this year presents will be sent instead of delivered. I’m getting things ready early so they can arrive in time. Crosstreklogistics.com is offering UPS delivery at 40% off if you send through them. Same delivery at a great discount. That’s how I’ll be sending my packages, can’t pass up a bargain.
After the Macy’s parade we skipped the lighting of the tree at Rockefeller Center and are considering skipping New Years at Times Square. We will probably still see the tree and try ice skating, just not on the busiest nights. Everyone loves the city and I’m beginning to understand why the natives are scarce during iconic events.
Never Forget
Today our country reflects back on 9/11/01. Living in Arkansas and watching on television was painful, but the pain still felt in the New York City area is greater still. To watch events unfold in a place you’ve never been is much like watching a movie, you feel the emotion, but it doesn’t have the same impact. Living here now, I see the people affected, see the memorials first hand and read my local paper with the stories of the people who were killed and you just can’t appreciate how deep the scar is from afar. I wish September 11th was just another day, but what was done cannot be erased and will never be forgotten.
When I think of that day, I am most amazed by the people who ran in where most of the world would run away. It takes a different kind of person take on danger without flinching, those heroes who ran in to try and save people they didn’t know, to save human life even if it costs them their own. Firefighters, Policeman, Rescue Workers and our Soldiers, the people who fight for our freedom and fight for our lives, we owe it to them to appreciate the life we have and make the most of it. Don’t complain, don’t give up, make the most of what you have and live each day as if it’s your last. Whether it’s a Soldier in a foreign land or a Firemen or Policemen in your town these men and women are willing to give their lives for yours, make it worth it.
Oh that mother nature
So we experienced our first earthquake this week. There was an earthquake in Arkansas, but we had already moved. It was very interesting, it was pretty mild here, so it wasn’t really scary. Now we are looking at having to evacuate tomorrow. I keep putting off packing a bag, but I will get it done tonight. The subways and public transit will all stop running at noon tomorrow. We are fortunate enough to own a car, I hope those that don’t have cars stay safe by either evacuating or riding out the storm.
I’ve never been to Pennsylvania, so worst case scenario we have to take a road trip to somewhere new. I hope everyone stays safe with minimal damage.
Summer break
I guess my blog has been on summer vacation. We still have 3 wonderful weeks of no school left here, not that I’ll enjoy it as much as my kids. We’re on our way to having our summer reading done and our summer projects to take to school the first day. I’m ready for them to go back to school, but I am not ready for my oldest to be a Junior. Once this school year starts, I know it will fly by so I’m willing to wait, hoping the next three weeks goes by slowly. I have one more year with my little one at home, so next year will be the hardest, my first “baby” will be a senior and my last “baby” will be in Kindergarten. I look forward to this year of “school” with my little one, she’s so eager to learn so we’re having mommy school. Each day we’ll do a couple of worksheets and activities because we just can’t wait for school. She wants to learn to read NOW and write NOW. A little jumpstart never hurt anyone, so as long as she is willing and excited, we’ll see what we can discover before we actually have to.
106 spam comments
So in the past couple of days I have accumulated 106 spam comments on my blog. You haven’t seen them because I have to approve first comments, after your first comment they automatically post, but the first one has to get past me. I’m wondering if there is a spam college out there because all of the comments are very similar and every one of them has one misspelling. I guess having one word misspelled is supposed to make me believe “Gureat post whippersnapper!” is a real comment. Also interesting when something very positive is put on a sad post. Maybe these spammers don’t speak English or maybe they are just lazy but no, I don’t believe I’ll be letting their comments through.
My cat is crazy
Everyone is back at home where they belong. I survived this month without my boy, he really enjoyed spending time with some friends he has missed from Arkansas. After a delay in Memphis and confusion at our airport, we finally got it together and got him picked up. We’re so glad to have him home, even the cat. I swear the cat understands English, we started talking about Clayton coming home and she started camping by the front door. She has gone in his room off and on to look for him and cried at his door in the morning if it’s shut. Apparently our cat has always approved of our school year schedule, but leave it to me to find an OCD cat, now that the kids aren’t up early enough for her she feels the need to meow in the mornings until everyone gets up. When she is ready to go to bed at night she goes to everyone and meows at them and doesn’t stop until we go to bed, then she puts herself to bed in the bathroom window so she can keep watch on the neighborhood. I never thought I’d have a cat, much less such a bossy one.
My OCD keeps house guests away
I’ve never really lived anywhere anyone wanted to come visit so I don’t have very much experience with house guests, that said I’ve been a house guest and from what I’m hearing I’m the strange one. To me staying with a friend or relative is a lot like camping, when you leave no one can even tell you’ve been there. I like to help my host with dishes, cooking, I try to take the sheets off the bed at the end of my stay, whatever I can do. Whether I’m house sitting or a guest, I want to make sure there is no negative effect from my stay. Who would think that way? Maybe most people wouldn’t, but I have moderate OCD so I probably go out of my way to not make waves in anyone else’s world. I wish I could have a go with the flow come by any time and stay kind of house, but I can’t.
So what kind of things do people do? Rearranging furniture, no matter how small, table or couch, why would someone do that? It’s not your house, even if you move a chair to sit down for a minute it is your obligation to put it back as soon as you get up, we do that in restaurants, why wouldn’t you do the same at a friends house?
Leaving your trash and dishes sitting around. Again, you clean up at McDonald’s when you leave the table, why would you leave trash and dirty dishes sitting around your hosts house? I’m not expecting a free maid when I have a house guests, but I’m not expecting to be housekeeping either, you are saving money on a hotel you know?
Now would anyone consider taking the sheets off a hotel bed and just wrapping up in the bed spread? Of course not, but I am surprised how many people do not feel the same as a house guest. People seriously sleep on top of the comforter to “save you” from having to wash the sheets. Who came up with that bright idea? Before you sleep on top of someone’s comforter keep this in mind, even if it meets your standards of clean even though they probably don’t wash it between every guest, if you sleep directly on it, they must wash it. No big deal right? Well this sure isn’t very considerate when you think about the fact that no matter what when you leave the room must be cleaned for the next person. Your host could have simply washed the sheets and maybe saved washing the comforter for another time. If they’re like me and don’t have a washer and dryer you have just gone from a house guest to an expense. I can’t spend 2 bucks and wash the sheets, now I have to spend 30 to have the comforter cleaned.
If you know someone well enough to stay in their house, you should know them well enough to ask them their preferences. Hey, I want to make things as easy on you as possible, does it make it easier if I sleep on top of the made bed? Or just think about it, giggle to yourself and turn the bed down like a normal person, there is no circumstance where washing the bedspread or comforter is easier than washing the sheets.